Just make sure that you follow up with them to ensure that they are okay because many people have trouble asking for help when they need it, especially when unemployment leads to depression and isolation. I … Always be gracious in your response and consider the context of your relationship with the person. For example, if someone likes to cook, suggest meals. Tell Them You Understand (If You Really Do) Before you tell someone "I understand," you should be certain that you actually do. I would love your prayers.”, 3. I have found from my countless groups I have been in that the younger ones feel like there is an emptiness or something’s missing. These tips on how to say no when someone asks to borrow money will help you kindly, firmly, and gently decline their request. Always be gracious in your response and consider the context of your relationship with the person. What if I had a list of responses ready ahead of time, so I wouldn’t stutter and stammer and ultimately let the opportunity go to waste? Perhaps I should try "May I support your boobs for you ? I hate when people tell me to do something through a question. July 13, 2015 by Tad 12 Comments. While I haven’t always come up with a brilliant response in the moment, I’ve later thought of practical needs that would be helpful. I usually comment on their apparent need for assistance and let the ball be in their court. You might answer this way if someone you don't know, like a waiter at a restaurant, asks how you are. Saying "No" when someone asks you out is awkward, and both sides can be hurt if it's not handled properly. “Remember when you were there for me? a) What kind of help is the person asking? https://www.myhappyenglish.com/.../04/22/how-to-ask-answer-do-you-mind A good approach is to offer to help, but don’t make it too big a deal (or be offended if your offer is turned down). Would you have time to check on them this week?”, 6. Asking what you can do can really help them through their day. When someone is suicidal, it seems as if nothing will make things better. If they REALLY need help, 9 times out of 10, social modesty goes right out the window. Hi there! I’m married to an energetic entrepreneur and have two preteen children. Kayla Sloan Personal Finance. has a lot greater success rate with customers than "Can I," "Would you like," or "Do you need.". “Honestly, what I need right now is a hug.”, 10. If you’re headed out, would you be willing to get an extra loaf for me?”, 11. When you face hard times, the question is inevitable. I had recently offered a lady my seat in a train and used this tip. But sometimes when you’re in the midst of surviving, the question, “How can I help?” creates more anxiety. “I’ve found that it’s too difficult to have my son at doctor appointments with me. Ask yourself these questions before you reach any sort of decision. I'd consider them an ass. A friend set up a fundraiser online if you’d like to help that way.”, 13. How Can I Respond To Someone Offering Help? it just felt like it wasn’t what was promised. rather than "do you need some help? To start, you will be more successful if you match the request with a particular talent or interest of the person who is offering. (To see my commitment to your privacy, visit my Privacy Policy here.). Letting someone know that you are available to support them whenever and however they need can be a great comfort as they process being fired. More wandering means more impulse purchasing, but whatever. We all dread that moment when someone asks for your number, and you don't want to give it to them. She's been married to her entrepreneurial husband for over 15 years and has two preteen children who make her laugh and keep her on her toes every single day. When a friend, partner, or family member asks how you are, give a more detailed answer about how you feel. He promises to give what you need, when you need it most. Actively Resist The Help (even when we need it). Asking what type of support one needs gives the other person the opportunity to think about what they … Be understanding, but explain that you may not be able to keep such a promise if you think the person's life is in danger. Learning how to say no, especially to ones you love is never an easy task. 99% of people will either say "Yes" or "No" depending on whether if they need help or not regardless of how you ask. While you might want to make things easier for someone with a disability, it’s important to respect their space and independence. Inc. helps entrepreneurs change the world. “I’ve found that I’m really bored while I recover from surgery. Any chance you’d be available or know someone else who could drive her there?”, 4. Steps. It’s a bit easier to know what to say when someone has a temporary illness. To answer when someone asks how you are, say “Fine, thanks” or “I’m good, thanks” if you’re responding casually. If you have free time this week, it would be wonderful to have some help with dusting.”, 5. Having been through medical and caregiving struggles firsthand, I’ve been asked this question dozens of times. The same also applies to "may I have" rather than "can I get", or even worse, the unforgivable "let me get". Even the most minor task can be more appreciated than you know. Life is never dull in our crazy, busy, creative household! Reassure the person that with appropriate treatment, he or she can develop other ways to cope and can feel better about life again. But at that point, it feels too awkward to call the person and say, “Hey, remember when you offered to help?”. Though temporary illnesses, such as the flu or colds, are less serious, they can … Often caregivers don’t know what to say when someone offers help. Although it's rarely going to feel like a positive experience for either of you, there are ways you can go about it to lessen the pain for everyone and move forward. Of course, there are lots of reasons. Otherwise don't say anything at all. “My husband is so busy helping take care of the kids, he hasn’t been able to keep up with yard work. It’s my turn to do the same for you.” Like family members, friends going through hard times often feel better when someone reminds them that they’ve been a big help … The most important question to ask someone who is dealing with depression or suffering is, “How can I best support you?” Emotionally supporting someone consists of different aspects: listening, coaching, encouraging, reflecting, problem solving, or physical assistance or accompaniment to name a few. It’s like I was outside myself looking in but with a lot of pain. Would you be willing to coordinate a meal schedule with our friends?”, 2. ✅. If you can sincerely tell your friend about all the ways that they matter to you and others, this can help them realize that they have value and worth. “I ran out of bread, and I don’t have time to get to the store this week. Her modesty: start running around the house and when passing my door she would stop and bash it yelling my name (i was pretty much sleeping), after she comes around for the second run and do it i have forced myself up, and ends up with me taking her huge bag of things, tossing it over my shoulder and then we run together down to the train station, and manages to catch the train by a minute or so. (AKA: "It's not what you say, it's how you say it. You may feel comfortable asking your best friend to dust your house, but it may not be the right response for your child’s teacher. That got me thinking. Are you able to be on call to watch him if I have a conflict?”, 14. If you don't say anything else, though, it might be a signal that you don't want to continue the conversation. ", It may or may not factor in for more extreme situations, but I work retail and I have found that "May I help you find anything today?" The person asking has good intentions, but you may be too overwhelmed to formulate a response. Post a task list on the refrigerator or attach it to the calendar or another easily visible location. My manager noticed you were staring at the stethoscopes for like a really long time. Would your teenage son be available to pull weeds and mow the lawn?”, 7. Fine, thanks. In my practice as a therapist, I’ve counseled many people over the years who are working through life’s less shiny moments. It can be awkward to respond when someone offers help, but remember they’re asking because they care. ", I can confirm this works. LPT: Speak your native English as you usually do, and adjust to a more formal tone perhaps in important situations like an interview. Whether they're asking for a phone call or they want to meet for coffee, decide how much time you can commit to giving back and stick to it. Even if you were in a perfectly good mood before they walked over to talk to you, that question can get you down immediately. Then I help them find their items so I can get them out of the store faster. The thing is, when you’re feeling down or in the midst of a personal crisis, responding to someone who greets you with perky, “Hi, how are you?” can be a difficult question. Give help. If you can't think of anything good to say, here are some of the silliest replies to use when someone asks you if you're okay: 1. Ah ha! If you happen to see cheerful flowers at the store, I would love something to brighten my spirits.”, 15. 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