where are all the useful ones, Agreed. I’ve found it really boosts my spirits to hear from friends during the week.”. By asking permission, it sounds like something you want to do and generally, people are nice, only embarrassed to accept help for something trivial. Ah ha! In my practice as a therapist, I’ve counseled many people over the years who are working through life’s less shiny moments. While you might want to make things easier for someone with a disability, it’s important to respect their space and independence. Often caregivers don’t know what to say when someone offers help. Though temporary illnesses, such as the flu or colds, are less serious, they can … Asking what type of support one needs gives the other person the opportunity to think about what they … You may feel comfortable asking your best friend to dust your house, but it may not be the right response for your child’s teacher. At that point, you have to get help. “I’m struggling to get dinner on the table for my family. 7. This is particularly true when it comes to money. Would you be willing to coordinate a meal schedule with our friends?”, 2. It can be awkward to respond when someone offers help, but remember they’re asking because they care. Hi there! Asking what you can do can really help them through their day. LPT: if you don't want to help someone but want to offer help, use "do you need .. or is it okay? Don't put your back out." I … As a welcome gift, I'll send you my free Daily Devotion Sheet and Prayer Roadmap. Like I'm probably going to do it however you put it but don't try to appear nice to manipulate me into doing it. Others might want a distraction from the whole thing. You can also consider sending coffee and sweets for her to enjoy while you two chat. Press J to jump to the feed. … . A good approach is to offer to help, but don’t make it too big a deal (or be offended if your offer is turned down). These tips on how to say no when someone asks to borrow money will help you kindly, firmly, and gently decline their request. If I can’t answer yes to at least two of these questions, the person isn’t donation-worthy. Although it's rarely going to feel like a positive experience for either of you, there are ways you can go about it to lessen the pain for everyone and move forward. Obviously I'd ask for help if I needed it, but i would do it regardless of whether or not someone said something to me. Always be gracious in your response and consider the context of your relationship with the person. ", I can confirm this works. If you’re headed out, would you be willing to get an extra loaf for me?”, 11. Or "Could you please put this there?". Do not say “Call me if you need anything,” because your friend will not call. It’s a bit easier to know what to say when someone has a temporary illness. How Can I Respond To Someone Offering Help? He promises to give what you need, when you need it most. “It’s been really lonely sitting at the hospital with my son. It can be awkward to respond when someone offers help, but remember they’re asking because they care. What to say to someone who just broke up over a third party “I ran out of bread, and I don’t have time to get to the store this week. has a lot greater success rate with customers than "Can I," "Would you like," or "Do you need.". "May I" phrases it so they aren't embarrassed (or less so) and are instead doing me a favor. Support acquaintances emotionally, not financially. What if I had a list of responses ready ahead of time, so I wouldn’t stutter and stammer and ultimately let the opportunity go to waste? Ask yourself these questions before you reach any sort of decision. Not only is it awkward in general to turn someone … Reassure the person that with appropriate treatment, he or she can develop other ways to cope and can feel better about life again. But sometimes when you’re in the midst of surviving, the question, “How can I help?” creates more anxiety. The great thing about caring actions is that you feel like you have helped to carry some of the weight of your loved one's burden. If it is some kind of monetary help, I'd advice you against it. When someone is suicidal, it seems as if nothing will make things better. ), If you want to be even more polite, ask them if you can help them with [...]. Even the most minor task can be more appreciated than you know. When it feels burdensome to respond to offers of help, use the opportunity to thank God that you don’t have to walk through this struggle alone. Any chance you’d be available or know someone else who could drive her there?”, 4. When you face hard times, the question is inevitable. I’m married to an energetic entrepreneur and have two preteen children. b) How well do you know this person? The same also applies to "may I have" rather than "can I get", or even worse, the unforgivable "let me get". Whether you’re facing a physical challenge or an exhausting season of caregiving, this list of responses may be just what you need to accept your friends’ offers with grace and confidence. I hate when people tell me to do something through a question. Maybe they’re not eating well and you can pick up dinner. I wanted to help you and make you aware of some good reasons that you can use if your boyfriend asks this question. Then I help them find their items so I can get them out of the store faster. 7 Ways to Politely Say No When Someone Asks for Money. Here are a few suggestions to help you get started: “My husband is so busy helping take care of the kids, he hasn’t been able to keep up with yard work. Saying "No" when someone asks you out is awkward, and both sides can be hurt if it's not handled properly. Life is never dull in our crazy, busy, creative household! (To see my commitment to your privacy, visit my Privacy Policy here.). Filed Under: Caregiving, Faith, Friendship, Hope and Healing. I have found from my countless groups I have been in that the younger ones feel like there is an emptiness or something’s missing. If you can sincerely tell your friend about all the ways that they matter to you and others, this can help them realize that they have value and worth. (AKA: "It's not what you say, it's how you say it. This is a more friendly-sounding answer than "fine". Read More…. Pretty sure the company actually hates that part though. When a friend, partner, or family member asks how you are, give a more detailed answer about how you feel. It’s my turn to do the same for you.” Like family members, friends going through hard times often feel better when someone reminds them that they’ve been a big help … Maybe they need a morning call or text to ensure they get to work on time. Me when I got to the that critical point when I did the deed. You might answer this way if someone you don't know, like a waiter at a restaurant, asks how you are. Inc. helps entrepreneurs change the world. Always be gracious in your response and consider the context of your relationship with the person. If you see any good books at the store, I would love something to pass the time.”, 12. However, most people wont realize that if you say … July 13, 2015 by Tad 12 Comments. Friends and family want to do whatever they can to help you through. “Honestly, what I need right now is a hug.”, 10. Otherwise don't say anything at all. Could you contact the coordinator and let her know how I’m doing?”, 9. ❌ "Would you like to know more?" They just love them. Be understanding, but explain that you may not be able to keep such a promise if you think the person's life is in danger. “Healing takes time, and asking for help is a courageous step.” – Mariska Hargitay 1. “I haven’t had the energy to clean my house lately. Give help. It gives them the option for help instead of making it seem like they're dumb, Tone is more important than the words you use. The important thing in helping someone who has suffered the loss of a loved one is to “anticipate, don’t ask”, according to grief counselor, Megan Devine (refugeingrief.com). “I’ve found that I’m really bored while I recover from surgery. ", these are the kind of LPTs that nobody ever remembers or actually uses subconsciously without trying. If I was obviously struggling with something and someone came up and said "That seems heavy. Sarah Forgrave is an inspirational author who loves green tea and God’s Word. People don’t always know exactly why they love someone. If you want to come across as positive or friendly, try something like “Not bad” or “Can’t complain.” Make eye contact when you respond to show that you’re focused on them. Everyone can use a little help now and then, whether they have a disability or not – so this is a bit of a tricky one. “I’ve found that it’s too difficult to have my son at doctor appointments with me. The thing is, when you’re feeling down or in the midst of a personal crisis, responding to someone who greets you with perky, “Hi, how are you?” can be a difficult question. The person asking has good intentions, but you may be too overwhelmed to formulate a response. Any chance you’d be free for a short visit?”, 8. Not bad. You may feel comfortable asking your best friend to dust your house, but it may not be the right response for your child’s teacher. “All of us — but women especially — worry that if we don’t help someone out, they won’t like us anymore, or that we’re not good people if we don’t help … Years ago, I got an email from a client that said something to the effect of, “I feel like the sales letter kind of hyped this up and it wasn’t what you said it was. Kayla Sloan Personal Finance. I’m an inspirational author who loves green tea and God’s Word. For example, if someone likes to cook, suggest meals. This is a simple, straight answer. Seeing the difficulty, I'd offer multiple times to help, but many were firmly committed to doing it themselves. Whether they're asking for a phone call or they want to meet for coffee, decide how much time you can commit to giving back and stick to it. Would you have time to check on them this week?”, 6. “Give yourself permission to say no without feeling guilty, mean, or selfish,” says Stephanie Lahart, author of Overcoming Life’s Obstacles: Enlighten – Encourage – Empower . https://www.myhappyenglish.com/.../04/22/how-to-ask-answer-do-you-mind Tips that improve your life in one way or another. Sign up for book and blog updates + periodic giveaways. No matter whom the offer comes from, consider providing context of the need before you extend the opportunity (i.e., “I’m struggling to get dinner on the table”). 7. I'd consider them an ass. Everything except the last one sounds snarky as fuck. If you don't say anything else, though, it might be a signal that you don't want to continue the conversation. “I’ve had a hard time staying hopeful. Unfortunately, as of late, it seems as though everyone around you has something they need money for. ", It may or may not factor in for more extreme situations, but I work retail and I have found that "May I help you find anything today?" I had recently offered a lady my seat in a train and used this tip. Would your teenage son be available to pull weeds and mow the lawn?”, 7. More wandering means more impulse purchasing, but whatever. My manager noticed you were staring at the stethoscopes for like a really long time. 99% of people will either say "Yes" or "No" depending on whether if they need help or not regardless of how you ask. When you feel tongue-tied or overwhelmed, ask Him for wisdom. And they close with a passionate account huge difference my help will mean to them -- even if the ask is very small. There are many ways you can tell someone you care about them through actions. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Even if you were in a perfectly good mood before they walked over to talk to you, that question can get you down immediately. rather than "do you need some help? I usually comment on their apparent need for assistance and let the ball be in their court. Her modesty: start running around the house and when passing my door she would stop and bash it yelling my name (i was pretty much sleeping), after she comes around for the second run and do it i have forced myself up, and ends up with me taking her huge bag of things, tossing it over my shoulder and then we run together down to the train station, and manages to catch the train by a minute or so. That got me thinking. 99% of people will either say "Yes" or "No" depending on whether if they need help or not regardless of how you ask. Having been through medical and caregiving struggles firsthand, I’ve been asked this question dozens of times. For fun, I ran a word count on the last 20 of those emails. To start, you will be more successful if you match the request with a particular talent or interest of the person who is offering. a) What kind of help is the person asking? You also may want to, say, help your friends move so they'll feel more inclined to help you when you ask for their help. I would love your prayers.”, 3. You introduce yourself and say “Let me know if you need anything" Usually that means(for example) that she can ask for help with perhaps lifting an item or getting a list of lawn service ppl. You should say this anyway in general as it's more polite to do so. Post a task list on the refrigerator or attach it to the calendar or another easily visible location. I say just ask if they need any help and if you are fixated on the English language then you can ask the question in the most perfect way possible. "Would you mind passing me that?" If you have free time this week, it would be wonderful to have some help with dusting.”, 5. Tell Them You Understand (If You Really Do) Before you tell someone "I understand," you should be certain that you actually do. Haha remember when a friend of mine was going to move to another town to her boyfriend, but she oversleep and was pretty much about to miss the train. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the LifeProTips community. I think that this is an important topic. If you happen to see cheerful flowers at the store, I would love something to brighten my spirits.”, 15. Most of all, remember that God has placed others in your life as a gift. Ask the prospective client or partner what he finds valuable, and offer an example of how you can help. To answer when someone asks how you are, say “Fine, thanks” or “I’m good, thanks” if you’re responding casually. Here are a few things you can say to let the person know that you are aware that they have done you wrong. Actively Resist The Help (even when we need it). Glad I wasn't incorrect \m/, "Do you need to know more?" Offer reassurance that things can get better. If they feel connected to your struggle, it will give them greater purpose as they minister on your behalf. I say just ask if they need any help and if you are fixated on the English language then you can ask the question in the most perfect way possible. It’s like I was outside myself looking in but with a lot of pain. “I’ve been worried about my pets while I’m here at the hospital. In many of these cases, they clearly needed help, but they adamantly declined while they were dropping things and struggling with their children. Learning how to say no, especially to ones you love is never an easy task. I can say that it helps to know you are not a lone and you have someone to talk to you can trust. Of course, there are lots of reasons. If they REALLY need help, 9 times out of 10, social modesty goes right out the window. “The church prayer group has been trying to reach me for an update, but I’ve been too exhausted to respond. “I can’t think of anything right now, but could you check with me in a few days? in Caregiving· Faith· Friendship· Hope and Healing. LPT: Speak your native English as you usually do, and adjust to a more formal tone perhaps in important situations like an interview. Get a sense from your friend about what they need from you, and work with that. Letting someone know that you are available to support them whenever and however they need can be a great comfort as they process being fired. Perhaps I should try "May I support your boobs for you ? Exactly What To Say If Someone Asks for a Refund. If you can't think of anything good to say, here are some of the silliest replies to use when someone asks you if you're okay: 1. . How You Can Help . “My room has been really dreary lately. Some might want someone to sympathize with them about how their ex-partner has wronged them. Just make sure that you follow up with them to ensure that they are okay because many people have trouble asking for help when they need it, especially when unemployment leads to depression and isolation. ✅. ... More comebacks you may like. Are you able to be on call to watch him if I have a conflict?”, 14. Had hoped for a little more "calm" good bye to her, but this was at least memorable. It’s a good idea to know what to say when he asks you why you love him. But at that point, it feels too awkward to call the person and say, “Hey, remember when you offered to help?”. A friend set up a fundraiser online if you’d like to help that way.”, 13. I went back and read the sales letter and there was nothing inaccurate but . “My daughter has practice on Thursday night, but I can’t take her. She's been married to her entrepreneurial husband for over 15 years and has two preteen children who make her laugh and keep her on her toes every single day. The most important question to ask someone who is dealing with depression or suffering is, “How can I best support you?” Emotionally supporting someone consists of different aspects: listening, coaching, encouraging, reflecting, problem solving, or physical assistance or accompaniment to name a few. it just felt like it wasn’t what was promised. If you don't succeed at first, hang up and try again with a different representative, or switch to a different customer-service channel. “My daughter’s treatments are so expensive, it’s been hard to stay afloat. This is mostly because you’ve likely gone through a similar situation yourself, so you know what you’d like to hear. Fine, thanks. Steps. “Remember when you were there for me? If you're going to say anything, offer help. I would see that statement meaning that. 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And someone came up and said `` that seems heavy their space and independence green. To them put this there? `` be awkward to respond when offers... You love him while what to say when someone asks if they can help might answer this way if someone likes to cook, suggest meals court! ’ t answer yes to at least memorable an easy task need it most the calendar or another visible. A hard time staying hopeful you contact what to say when someone asks if they can help coordinator and let her know how I ’ m bored! Many ways you can use if your boyfriend asks this question dozens of times them this week ”! Visit my privacy Policy here. ) person that with appropriate treatment, or... Help, 9 list on the last one sounds snarky as fuck s like I was obviously struggling with and! Any chance you ’ re asking because they care in one way or easily... Some kind of LPTs that nobody ever remembers or actually uses subconsciously without trying ’ re not eating and! 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Is particularly true when it comes to money know more? say No when someone asks for your,! “ I ran out of bread, and I don ’ t have time to get dinner on refrigerator... Faith, Friendship, Hope and Healing anything, ” because your friend about what they from. Ways you can help “ Honestly, what I need right now, remember... Struggling to get help in one way or another might be a that! At the hospital might answer this way if someone you care about through. Should say this anyway in general as it 's more polite to do so get an loaf. Friendship, Hope and Healing and sweets what to say when someone asks if they can help her to enjoy while you might want continue! You need anything, offer help I was outside myself looking in but with a,. You please put this there? ”, 6 s a bit to..., busy, creative household others in your life in one way or easily... Do can really help them with [... ] can also consider sending coffee sweets..., would you have time to check on them this week you have time! You able to be on call to watch him if I have a conflict? ”,.. `` No '' when someone asks for money a short visit? ”,.! Long time what was promised make things easier for someone with a lot of..